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  • Elizabeth Vazquez

Don't Live There 

We are always trying to change our situation, not realizing we are put in a situation so WE can change. How does it feel to be comfortable? How does it feel to think you have a whole heart and solid connection with who and what is in your intimate world? How do you feel when one little piece of that suddenly changes? You panic. You reach for it, grasping, trying to hold onto what was there just minutes ago. Your thoughts race back to what you could have done, what you could have said, how you might have prevented that change from happening. Once you start looking back, it’s already too late and you CANNOT dwell on that. Don’t live there. That place sucks energy, focus, and hope from deep within you. I know. I have rented space there from time to time. I think we all have. When something like this happens, it is an opportune time for you to take an audit of your beliefs. Why do you believe what you believe? Is it because that is the way it has always been? Because someone told you that was how it had to be? Because the last time you did it, something bad happened or something changed? Take out a piece of paper and a pen. A pen that feels good in your hand, one whose ink glides along with purpose. Dig deep and bring all those beliefs you have to the page. Here is an example of what this could look like. These are not my beliefs, just an example of ones I pulled from other’s lists. I believe my job must have purpose. I believe in soulmates. I believe my children must be more successful than me. I believe my body was not meant to be strong. I believe I was not meant to have children. I believe I have to be everything to someone. I believe I shouldn’t show weakness. Now your task is to look at that list and rip it apart, piece by piece. Why do you believe that? Did your grandmother tell you when you were 12 that this is how it has to be? Did you read it somewhere? Are you trying to do the opposite of what your mother did? Did you fail one time and never want to try it again? Do you know what you will discover? Only you have the power to change that belief. Only you can say, “No. It doesn’t have to be that way.” Only you can do the research. You can be in charge of the change. When you are in charge of the change, it is less disruptive, less gut-wrenching. You feel empowered and it brings energy and hope back into your heart. Lastly, recognize when the change is not for you. Know that you can change your mind at any time. You have that power, too. When the thought, “change takes time” becomes a mantra you repeat day in and day out and steals your focus and your ability to be present, you know it’s not the right time. And that is ok. Everything will be ok.